The Fire
by EmCarstairs
Summary: James and Lily both are having a terrible New Year after both of their fathers have passed. What could ever change to make them heal? James comes up with a plan. One-shot for New Year's Eve!


Lily sat by the fire, watching as the flames licked at the logs, causing them to disintegrate into cinders. It made her wonder what it was like, where her father was. What it was like to die.

It felt as if something heavy was in her chest. It hadn't left since she heard the news. She knew a lot of it was worry; worry for herself, for her mother, her sister, and even for James. James had just lost his father, too.

She was being anti-social, but she couldn't gather the emotional and physical strength to get up and talk to the others. She slept well at night, but it seemed as though it was doing nothing, like she was staying up all night. She had no nightmares that she recollected, no dreams at all. Just sleep.

She curled up further in the arm chair, resting her cheek on the arm. Her gaze was still on the flames.

A blanket was suddenly being placed on her. She looked up and eyes found James. He gave her a sad little smile, and she noticed the purple under his eyes and the way he exhaustedly moved his limbs.

"Thanks," she said quietly. He nodded in reply, and sat down in front of her with his back against the chair. They sat like this for many minutes, both pondering similar things. She removed one arm from under the blanket and gently began to rake her fingers through his hair. He seemed to sag further back into the chair, like his energy was sucked from him.

"How have you been?" She asked.

His shoulders jerked up when he huffed, "I've been better. What about you?"

I didn't respond for a minute or two. When I did, it wasn't to answer his question. "What's it like to die?" I noticed I had stopped moving my hand and that it was just resting in his hair. I drew it back slowly.

James turned around and my eyes met with his. "I dunno, but I hope it's easy...painless."

I nodded my agreement, and my eyes found their way back to the fire. I felt James's gaze still on me. "Lily, please tell me how you are. I'm worried."

I smiled, but it wasn't a happy one. "I've been better," I said, repeating his words. He gave a wry smile. I then said, "I've been worried about you, too."

"Mum's been worried about you, me and Sirius, which makes me worry about her. She hasn't seemed to deal with the fact that Dad's dead. At least not in front of me." James glanced towards the doorway that led to his kitchen, where both our mothers sat talking.

"I know. Mum hasn't said much to me about it. She's coping in her own way. I know she'll be okay, but it's so hard facing her about it, not when I'm still trying to face myself."

James looked at Lily and sadly thought how his fiery girl no longer was ablaze. He placed his hand on her cheek; her eyes slipped shut and she turned into it for it's warmth.

He desperately wanted things to be back the way they were: he wanted to hear his dad jollily singing as he drank his fire whiskey while they celebrated the new year, his Lily to be sarcastic and fiery again. The only thing he would not have wanted to change was how Lily and he were getting along. They had become closer once seventh year began. For a long time she still mistrusted him, even though he had refrained from asking her out and pranking nearly as much as before. Once she knew he was taking the last of his school career seriously, she had begun to warm up to him.

Now, here they were, mourning the loss of people very important to them on New Year's Eve. They should have been celebrating, not pining for people they would never see again. He looked at the clock on the mantle. "It's five til midnight. Want to go see the others for the countdown?"

Lily didn't say anything, but she removed herself from the chair. They walked through the door into the bright kitchen. "Hi, Mum," Lily said, going over to her and wrapping her arms around her in a hug. Her mother responded instantly, squeezing her tight.

From this embrace, a piece of the weight in her chest disappeared. Her mother was doing okay. She would heal over time.

Sirius then spoke up, "It's almost 11:59."

Lily released her mother and went to stand by James and Sirius. They all chanted the countdown, watching as the second hand flicked closer to midnight.

"...FIVE, FOUR, THREE, TWO, ONE, HAPPY NEW YEAR!" They all shouted.

Lily took a deep breath. It was a new year. She closed her eyes, making her New Year's Resolution: to heal, to sort our her life - to begin anew.

She hugged everyone as they all cheered for the new year.

She gave a huge yawn after several more minutes of cheering and celebrating. James noticed and suggested, "Why don't we head to our beds? I'm exhausted."

She agreed, and told everyone that she'd see them in the morning. She curled up in the twin bed, falling asleep with little problems.

As James slipped into a slumber, an idea struck him: he set his alarm to wake him up an hour before sunrise.

Lily groaned as she was awoken by someone. She rubbed the sleep from her eyes, looking over and finding James by her bedside.

"Sorry to wake you," he said in a sleepy voice. "I wanted to know...can I show you something?"

"Sure," she mumbled, sitting up.

"You'll want to dress warmly. We're going for a walk and it's snowing."

They met at the back door ten minutes later. She had every layer she could think of on. A walk it was, indeed. They hiked across his property, through many trees, up a steep incline, all through several inches of snow. It didn't bother her, however. Their lit wands illuminated their way, and she trusted James not to get lost. After twenty minutes of walking, James slowed so that Lily could catch up. She paused and looked at him with anticipation on her face. He smiled and laced his fingers through hers.

It wasn't for another twenty minutes that they reached their destination. "Be careful," James warned as they approached it. "There's a steep drop here." Lily clung to his arm, fearful of stepping in the wrong spot and falling. James told Lily to stand in one spot; he then muttered a spell to clear away the snow in a small area. He produced a large quilt from the bag he had slung over his shoulder and lay it in the dry spot. "Come here," he said, motioning Lily over. They both sat down, side-by-side. They huddled close and James murmured, "Now just watch."

The now cloudless sky - the snow had stopped falling a while ago - hung above them. Shortly after, the sun began to peek on the horizon. It quickly began to rise.

"Oh wow," Lily breathed.

The sun steadily climbed higher. Lily turned to James, and their eyes met. Her eyes held so much emotion that James couldn't move, couldn't breathe, couldn't blink.

"I want to try something," Lily murmured. She took her hand and steered James closer, and she gently pressed her lips against his. The kiss was fragile, for neither wanted to do anything that would cause the other to stop. It was what Lily had always dreamed of for a first kiss: sweet and intimate, packed full of all the emotions that neither could utter with words.

Lily gently backed away, gazing at James. She said again, "Oh _wow_."

They both smiled, their faces as bright as the sun that was rising ever higher. Neither even thought of the cold. They shared several more kisses - both fierce and gentle - before they broke apart and agreed they should get back to the house.

James had mostly suppressed the rapid voice in the back of his head shouting, "_You're kissing Lily, you're kissing Lily, you're kissing Lily._" Now only one thought was on his mind: "_Her fire is back. My fiery girl is back._"

As for Lily, she wrapped her arm around James's waist while they were walking back and thought, "_Starting anew. That's one resolution I am keeping._"As an afterthought, she added, "_I bet he's bloody happy that I've finally agreed to go out with him._"

* * *

**I hope you all have a happy New Year! It seems that Lily and James finally had one. What are your thoughts? I like constructive criticism as well as regular comments!**

**I listened to "The Fire," "Canvas" and the instrumental version of "Between Sheets" by Imogen Heap while writing this. :)**


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